3 Fool-proof Steps of Letting Go

6 min readApr 3, 2021

That will give you strength, gratitude, and forward momentum

Letting go is never an easy process, despite all the self-help books, podcasts, and YouTube videos. I find it even more difficult with pets — especially with your first one.

I fostered a 13-year-old Shih Tzu through an animal shelter for 10 days. His toenails got stuck in an escalator and were pulled out. He was bleeding heavily, I called the shelter, they dismissed it, saying it was normal for old dogs. I brought him to a vet without the shelter’s approval.

Next thing I knew, the shelter called to take him back, because of a breach of contract.

I bawled my eyes out — I did the right thing. Why was I still punished? At that point, I had two choices: one was to adopt him, which I could not commit to at this moment; the other was to let go.

I chose to let go. I never saw it coming, and it hit me really hard. But here are the three things I did to pick myself back up in 48 hours.

1. Be aware and accept your emotions.

I felt unfair. Wronged. Distraught. Sad. Unbearable. Angry. The thought of Damien going back to the shelter life was like a punch in my heart.

I sat with all these emotions. I gave myself permission to cry, to cuss, to indulge in the emotions for half an hour.

When they came back later in the evening after work, I welcomed them again. But at this point, I was starting the second step.

2. Focus on the learning, not the loss.

While the emotions were still simmering, I sat down to write. Writing is healing. I put whatever I cannot process onto the paper, and look for the silver lining.

I CHOSE to focus on the learning, not the loss.

When you focus on the loss, you choose to get stuck in the past, and new things cannot enter your life. When you focus on the learning, you step out of the victim mode, reclaim your power, and use it to manifest.

I focused on what I learned from this foster experience, and how Damien taught me about responsibility and unconditional love.

Within half an hour, my heart was filled with gratitude, love, and hope. Then I knew it was time to get into the final step.

3. Apply the learning to your purpose & what you want in life.

This is the stage where you gain forward momentum after falling off the wagon. In times of adversity, revisiting your purpose will pull you out of the swamp. Apply the learning to your life purpose, and your roadmap will appear.

What I did was to reach out to other shelters, apply to be a foster, and shared my experience. Because my purpose of fostering was never about myself, it was about loving an animal unconditionally, even if I have to give it away.

“Accept your feelings. Know your purpose. And do what needs to be done.” — Shoma Morita

Remember: Letting go is a gain in disguise. What you let go of will be added back to your life, in a way that better serves you.

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3 Fool-proof Steps of Letting Go

1. Be aware and accept your emotions.

2. Focus on the learning, not the loss.

3. Apply the learning to your purpose & what you want in life.

Written by scric strak